[This poem was composed entirely from the subject lines and openings of messages found in the spam folder of my gmail account]

Don't you look upon your diminutive willy as worth worrying about?
Short pennies make men less attractive
Do not waste your time!
Make a massive bulge in your pants
Power up your love making gun
No stupid exercises, just a miracle tablet
They are blue, they are little and they will make your shaft stay super hard
Destroy the physical borders between your couple and all-night powerful drilling
Women go crazy over huge mansticks
Denise loves the bulge in my pants?
Make your man's carrot grow
She'll like your new longer hose
Realize all of her dreams with our help for short time
Never let others call you toothpick again
Doctors Use This Too

It's been some time now since the Fed lowered the Prime Rate to 0%, yet I still have some credit cards charging me as much as 17.95% interest.

Given the Zero Prime Rate, the bailout money the government has given banks from taxpayer funds, and the current harsh economy, don't you think the government should take immediate steps to get banks to drop high credit card interest rates?

If you're as annoyed as I am at this situation, spread the word through your blog and e-mail your congressperson and senators in Washington about it.

Maybe we can get a grassroots movement started.

If it's of any help, here is the text of the e-mail I sent to my senators and congressperson:

--o0o--
Dear [name of representavie]:

It's been some time now since the Fed lowered the Prime Rate to 0%, yet I still have some credit cards charging me as much as 17.95% interest.

Given the Zero Prime Rate, the bailout money the government has given banks from taxpayer funds, and the current harsh economy, don't you think the legislature should take immediate action to get banks to drop high credit card interest rates?
--
Thank you,

[name]
[address]
[phone number]

--o0o--
Feel free to adapt my message or compose your own original version.

[This poem was composed entirely from the subject lines and openings of messages found in the spam folder of my gmail account]

Everyone wants to look and feel classy
Don't embarrass yourself in the locker room again
Make an impression of successful person
Be a man with a monster tool

Growth is so simple with this
Become the owner of exquisite and stylish thing!
Women look at the bulge in your pants
You can use it as a lovely gift for your friends or relatives

Excuse me for bothering you
Don't suffer in silence from a small tool
Real men have big sticks
Get the longest schlong in two months

You know she wants this
The solution to low libidos
You must be The Real Man with huge dignity
We offer a free gift box

I've just placed my 19th-century historical novel Blind Man, Preacher Man on the HarperCollins authonomy website.

# # #
The following quotes are taken from the authonomy Home Page and FAQs page:

authonomy is a brand new community site for writers, readers and publishers, conceived and developed by book editors at HarperCollins. We want to flush out the brightest, freshest new literature around - we’re glad you stopped by.

If you’re a writer, authonomy is the place to show your face – and show off your work on the web. Whether you’re unpublished, self-published or just getting started, all you need is a few chapters to start building your profile online, and start connecting with the authonomy community.

authonomy invites unpublished and self published authors to post their manuscripts for visitors to read online. Authors create their own personal page on the site to host their project - and must make at least 10,000 words available for the public to read.

Visitors to authonomy can comment on these submissions – and can personally recommend their favourites to the community. authonomy counts the number of recommendations each book receives, and uses it to rank the books on the site. It also spots which visitors consistently recommend the best books – and uses that info to rank the most influential trend spotters.

We hope the authonomy community will guide publishers straight to the freshest writing talent – and will give passionate and thoughtful readers a real chance to influence what’s on our shelves.

Will HarperCollins be reading my work?
Once a month we’ll be pulling out the top five books from the Editor’s Desk Chart, and passing them on to our Editorial Board. HC editors will read from the first 10,000 words of each manuscript, and will feed back their comments to the appropriate authors, who will be able to decide whether or not to make these comments available to the community at large.

Will HarperCollins be publishing books from authonomy?
We’ve set up authonomy in the hope of finding new authors for our various publishing lists, so we’ll certainly be looking for promising books – as will other publishing houses and agents.

We only buy books we really believe in – as such, we’re not guaranteeing to publish anything submitted to us. In this way, you can be sure that any books picked off authonomy will have been chosen because we really love them.

The terms of any publication deals arising from the site would be negotiated as and when such opportunities arise – there is no fixed ‘boiler-plate’ offer specifically for authors who come to our attention via the site.

# # #
And this quote is taken from their blog:

WEDNESDAY, 21 JANUARY 2009
Here at authonomy, we always hoped that our site would help people get spotted and get published, and today we’re really pleased to pass on the news of several publishing contracts coming through.

We’re fit to bursting with pride: not one but three different authonomy authors have been signed up to HarperCollins. Each one has a very different story to tell of the journey to acquisition, which we hope is an encouraging sign. World rights have been acquired in all three cases.

# # #
The logline for my book Blind Man, Preacher Man is:

In brawling, sprawling 19th-century America, a blind Wild West show trickshooter must square accounts with a resurrected traveling evangelist who swindled the woman he loved.

Should you care to take a look at it, just click here.

And should you decide to post your own book, do let me know in the comments to this post.

People who ask what my biggest pet peeve is.

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

So:-

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name from the following list:

a = snickle | b = doombah | c = goober | d = cheesey | e = crusty
f = greasy | g = dumbo | h = farcus | i = dorky | j = doofus
k = funky | l = boobie | m = sleezy | n = sloopy | o = fluffy
p = stinky | q = slimy | r = dorfus | s = snooty | t = dipsy
u = tootsie | v = sneezy | w = liver | x = skippy | y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin | b = feather | c = batty | d = burger | e = chicken
f = barffy | g = lizard | h = waffle | i = farkle | j = monkey
k = flippin | l = fricken | m = bubble | n = rhino | o = potty
p = hamster | q = buckle | r = gizzard | s = lickin | t = snickle
u = chuckle | v = pickle | w = hubble | x = dingle | y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt | b = boob | c = face | d = nose | e = hump
f = breath | g = pants | h = shorts | i = lips | j = honker
k = head | l = tush | m = chunks | n = dunkin | o = brains
p = biscuits | q = toes | r = doodle | s = fanny | t = sniffer
u = sprinkles | v = frack | w = squirt | x = humperdinck
y = hiney | z = juice

Thus, for example, Robert Heinlein would be: Doombah Chickenlips. Isaac Asimov: Goober Lickinbrains. And Arthur C. Clarke: Dipsy Frickinbutt.

Feel free to post your new name in the Comments. And if you post this on your own LJ, don't forget to use your new name in the subject line.

Some of you may recall that I translated a couple of stories from Spanish into English for the recently published The SFWA European Hall of Fame: Sixteen Contemporary Masterpieces of Science Fiction from the Continent , a well-received collection of top genre stories from Europe edited by James Morrow and Kathryn Morrow.

Below, Jeff VanderMeer interviews Jim and Kathy, along with one of the authors, about the origin and contents of the anthology at the 2007 Utopiales Science Fiction Festival in Nantes, France.

My thanks to all of you who left encouraging words and/or advice in the comments section of my previous post.

Following a long day of lugging heavy stuff and unpacking furniture, we slept in our new house for the first time last night. Unfortunately, we didn't get to bed till around 2:20 A.M. and I woke up around 6:15 A.M. and couldn't get back to sleep.

While we managed to move all the furniture we shipped from Puerto Rico last November and had had in storage since then, we still have many boxes of books, china, clothing, and sundries to cart over here and unpack, which we will be doing over the next week or so (our storage rent is paid up through April 30).

Today, I return the 24' truck we rented from Budget, the piano movers come, and our breakfast nook table and master bedroom dresser and nightstands should be delivered -- plus Tita wants to bring over a Jeep Cherokee-full load of boxes, including the good china, to unpack and put away.

Tomorrow, the office furniture for my studio is scheduled to arrive -- and possibly the sofa and armchair for our family room, although it's more likely they won't be delivered until early next week -- and we're supposed to entertain the father of our son's fiancée at dinner.

I will post some pictures of the house soon.

Today, after almost six months of house hunting, we closed on our new home in Wake Forest, North Carolina.

Tomorrow, we start moving in.

FIRST NOVEL CONTEST
---
NO ENTRY FEE NOTED
This competition is open to anyone aged 16 or over who is a resident of the UK or Republic of Ireland.

All Entries must be original, previously unpublished works of fiction on any subject or genre, including but not limited to romance, crime, science fiction, adventure, and thriller.

The Publisher will offer the winning entrant a publishing contract with Transworld Publishers, a division of The Random House Group Limited, and an advance in the sum of £30,000 (Prize).

The Publishers will publish the winning work in the spring of 2009.

Entrants must submit a complete work in the English language of not less than 80,000 words and no more than 150,000 words and a synopsis of the work in the English language of no more than 600 words.

Entrants must not have written a novel published under a valid ISBN.

Deadline: July 2, 2008.

=====

SOURCE

FUNDS FOR WRITERS
Editor: C. Hope Clark
Mailto: Hope@fundsforwriters.com
Website: http://www.fundsforwriters.com
Newsletter: ISSN: 1533-1326

Happy Birthday, battle_of_one!

And many happy returns. :-)

From me and mine to you and yours.

For those of you who are curious about the kind of genre fiction that is being written in the non-English-speaking world, The SFWA European Hall of Fame, a collection of top genre stories from Europe edited by James Morrow and Kathryn Morrow for which I did the two translations from the Spanish, makes an excellent Christmas, Newtonmas, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, or Belated Hanukkah gift.

EDITORIAL REVIEWS
From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review.

Wondrous worlds await U.S. SF fans in this sensitively chosen, impeccably translated anthology of Continental European science fiction stories, ranging from 1987 to 2005.

Offering "emotional satisfaction and cerebral excitement," as James Morrow puts it in his introduction, highlights include Johanna Sinisalo's "Baby Doll," a Finnish denunciation of materialistic exploitation of children; Romanian Lucian Merisca's "Some Earthlings' Adventures on Outrerria," an excruciating political satire; Valerio Angelisti's "Sepultura," which offers a neo-Dantean Infernoscape; and W.J. Maryson's "Verstummte Musik," a Dutch near-future Orwellian nightmare. A French twist on human-machine interface lifts Jean-Claude Dunyach's "Separations" into a meditation on the nature of artistic creativity, while Elena Arsenieva's "A Birch Tree, a White Fox" exquisitely illustrates the quintessential Russian soul.

These "disciplined speculations" by European writers and their painstaking translators not only excite the mind, they move the heart. (June)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

--o0o--

From Booklist
Except for Stanislaw Lem, contemporary European sf and fantasy writers aren't well represented in English translation.

The Morrows, husband and wife, address this long-standing sad situation by teaming top-notch translators and some of today's best European sf and fantasy hands in a superlative anthology.

Leading lights of French, Polish, Spanish, and 11 other literatures show their writing chops while employing a very broad range of genre motifs, from time machines to space travel. Jean-Claude Dunyach contributes "Separations," the multidimensional story of a zero-gravity choreographer on an unforgettable space ride with a tormented captain. In "The Fourth Day to Eternity," the Czech Ondrej Neff recounts the fate of a frenzied physicist caught in a confusing time loop.

As James Morrow underlines in a witty and literate introduction, a truly representative sampling of European speculative fiction would span volumes.

Under the attention-grabbing banner of the SFWA Hall of Fame series, this book tantalizingly introduces English-language readers to Europe's riches and may incite them to clamor for more.

Hays, Carl
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved.

--o0o--

BOOK DESCRIPTION
This is the best book of its kind in at least two decades. It is a literate, intelligent book of powerful SF stories from across Europe.

These tales are representativeof the best writers and stories of the last twenty years, written in most of the major contemporary European languages.

The SFWA European Hall of Fame includes some of the biggest SF names in Europe, including Joanna Sinisalo, Andreas Eschbach, Elena Arseneva, and Jean-Claude Dunyach. The appeal of this anthology rests first upon the venerable SFWA Hall of Fame imprimatur, and secondly on the sterling reputation of co-editor/writer James Morrow.

Morrow and his wife Kathryn spent years arranging for translations of the best in European SF, and working with translators to achieve sharp, polished, and entertaining English versions of the stories.

James Morrow has written a thought-provoking introductory essay, as well as informative story notes throughout the collection. This anthology joins the canonical SFWA Hall of Fame books that have sold hundreds of thousands of copies over four decades, and belongs in every library of SF, personal or public.

Here's wishing you Happy Holidays!

Tita and I arrived in Raleigh to stay yesterday around noon in company of two dogs (Kobe and Rookie) and one cat (Mischa Barton).

Our daughter Tara is flying in tomorrow from Miami, so since we're temporarily sharing a rented townhome with our son Ian, we'll have the whole family together to celebrate our first Thanksgiving in our new home state.

Our furniture and other household goods should arrive sometime in December, at which time most of the stuff will go into storage until we can find and buy a house. We've got a 6-month lease on the townhome, so we'll be able to shop around for a good deal without a lot of pressure.

Our Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo shipped from Puerto Rico on Monday and is scheduled to arrive in Jacksonville, Florida, tomorrow. I plan to fly down to pick it up and do the 6-hour drive to Raleigh next week.

OCTOBER
Push-ups = 490
Dips = 490
Curls = 0*
Lifts = 0*
Walking = 9 miles

YEAR-TO-DATE
Push-ups = 7,840
Dips = 7,360
Curls = 5,880
Lifts = 6,050
Walking = 229.5 miles



*The drop-off in these numbers was the result of a five-week trip I took during which I had no access to free weights.

Got a request for a 50-word synopsis of my Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting quartefinalist screenplay Sins of the Heart last night from Peter Samuelson the guy who produced Arlington Road, Wilde, and Tom and Viv, among a number of other pictures.

This is what I sent him:

--o0o--

When a bungled contract killing results in a violent quadruple murder, a rogue homicide detective must catch the killer before he strikes again, but finds himself partnered with his estranged CSI ex-wife, for whom he still carries a torch, and struggling with his cancer-stricken father's pleas to be put out of his misery.

--o0o--

If that whets his interest sufficiently, he says he'll request a copy of the script.

We closed on the sale of our home of 26 years here in Puerto Rico on Halloween night, which turned out to be both a treat and a trick.

Due to the depressed state of the real estate market, the house unfortunately appraised considerably below what it would have a year ago, but our realtor says most houses here are selling at 10% below appraisal, so we were lucky to get that.

We're now in the hectic packing and moving process and hope to be in our new temporary home in Raleigh, NC, sometime within the next two weeks.

We've got a 6-month lease on a 3-bedroom townhome there we'll be sharing with our son Ian while we settle on what house to buy in the area.

I spent most of the month of October in Raleigh trying to drum up work in the local advertising community and was able to begin what look to be long-term freelance relationships writing, producing, and directing commercials for a local television station and doing copywriting and design work for a local advertising agency.

Hopefully, this client base will grow.

Sins of the Heart failed to progress beyond the quarterfinal round of this year's Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting (top 254 scripts out of 5,050 submitted), but I did receive two requests to read the screenplay this week, along with two other requests to see a synopsis of the script.

We finally got our first offer on the house last Monday the 8th. We made a counter-offer on Tuesday, which was accepted, contingent on the appraisal, the buyer's obtaining financing, and the house's passing inspection.

The house inspector came by on Saturday. Tita tells me that he limited himself only to structural matters, as he apparently forgot to bring his testing equipment for the electrical system, which he said he'd be back to check at a later date.

That will have to be after the 24th, since I'm currently in Raleigh, NC, where I've been since September 25th, and Tita is joining me day after tomorrow (the 17th) for a week's stay.

If all goes well, we hope to be back in Raleigh for good in time for Thanksgiving.

SEPTEMBER
Push-ups = 930
Dips = 900
Curls = 570
Lifts = 570
Walking = 11 miles

YEAR-TO-DATE
Push-ups = 7,350
Dips = 6,870
Curls = 5,880
Lifts = 6,050
Walking = 220.5 miles

AUGUST
Push-ups = 900
Dips = 900
Curls = 240*
Lifts = 240*
Walking = 31 miles

YEAR-TO-DATE
Push-ups = 6,420
Dips = 5,970
Curls = 5,310
Lifts = 5,480
Walking = 209.5 miles



*The drop-off in these numbers was the result of a three-week trip I took during which I had no access to free weights.

On July 24, we switched realtors from a two-person operation to one of the largest realty agencies on the Island, figuring that since the former had managed to bring less than a dozen prospects by to view the house in five months, perhaps the latter would provide us access to a much larger pool of potential buyers.

They've brought two people to see the property, so far, and the second prospect is coming back this afternoon to show it to her husband.

JULY
Push-ups = 600
Dips = 600
Curls = 600
Lifts = 600
Walking = 26.5 miles

YEAR-TO-DATE
Push-ups = 5,520
Dips = 5,070
Curls = 5,070
Lifts = 5,220
Walking = 178.5 miles

In April, I submitted an original screenplay of mine titled Sins of the Heart to this year's Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting competition, which annually awards up to five fellowships of $30,000 each to the winning scripts.

The mailman just delivered my notification that out of a total of 5,050 scripts submitted this year, mine is one of only 254 to advance to the Quarterfinal Round.

About half of these are expected to advance to the Semifinal Round. These results will, I believe, be announced around the beginning of September. Probably a quarter to a third of those will move on to the Final Round (usually announced in October), from which the five winners will ultimately be selected in November.

What's the script about?

Logline: A rogue homicide detective must stop a multiple murderer before he strikes again, while struggling to decide whether he should kill his own dying father.

Genre: Contemporary noir crime story.

Noctem Aeternus is a new FREE quarterly PDF magazine which, according to the submission guidelines, pays 10¢ a word for science fiction, fantasy, western, and even mystery stories…so long as there is an element of horror.

According to editor Michael Knost, by signing up for a free subscription "you are helping us build the circulation, which helps us build advertising, which helps pay our writers and artists."

The first issue (January 2008) is scheduled to include stories by Ramsey Campbell. Cherie Priest, Charles Coleman Finlay, Tim Waggoner, and Michael Laimo.

Tita and I would like to buy a home in Raleigh, NC, so we can spend at least part of the year closer to our son Ian, who lives there, and our daughter Tara, who lives in Miami.

To that end, we put our house in Puerto Rico up for sale last February -- that's right, February -- but thanks to the slow housing market, we've not even had an offer yet, even though our realtors say the property is so tastefully decorated and well-taken care of it looks like a model home, one a buyer could move into the next day without having to invest a penny in repairs or remodeling.

We've also dropped the price twice, most recently a week and a half ago.

I am standing to one side to avoid being trampled by the house-hungry hordes.

I'd been told it might take two weeks to get back the results of my prostate biopsy of last Friday the 13th, but the urologist's office called a little while ago to say the results are in and they are negative.

Color me relieved. Also, screw triskaidekaphobia .

Next step: The doctor wants me to come in on August 2nd for a follow-up consultation.

Tonight, the Philadelphia Phillies lost the 10,000th game in team history, the first Major League baseball team -- and, in fact, the first professional sports franchise of any kind -- to reach this milestone.

It took them 125 years to do it.

With an 8,810-10,000 overall won-lost record -- the Phillies also have the 10th most wins in history -- Philadelphia would need 32 straight 100-win seasons to pass the .500 mark as a franchise.

Teams closest behind them in the lost column?

The Atlanta Braves have 9,673 losses, while the Chicago Cubs, Cincinnatti Reds, and Pittsburgh Pirates are all over 9,300.

Yo, Adrienne.

The 2007 Rhysling Awards for achievement in speculative poetry were announced Saturday, July 7, at ReaderCon in Burlington, MA, by the Science Fiction Poetry Association. There are two categories: Short Poem (up to 49 lines long) and Long Poem (50 lines and over).

Short Poem:

Third Place: "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Black Hole" by desayunoencama (from Helix: Speculative Fiction Quarterly, Issue 3, Winter 2007)

Happy Birthday, deannahoak!

And many happy returns. :-)

While flipping channels last night, I chanced upon the game show 1 vs. 100 just as the contestant, a young woman who looked to be around 30 years of age was being asked to select the correct answer from among three choices.

Question
Which of the following three organisms has the fewest number of cells?

Possible Answers
A. A gray squirrel
B. Paris Hilton
C. An amoeba

The contestant's reaction?

"Omigod! I don't even know what an amoeba is!"

Color me appalled.

In my day job, I've done a considerable amount of translation work over the years -- English-to-Spanish and Spanish-to-English -- for clients such as Citibank, Interstate General Properties, Max Factor, Pizza Hut, Scotiabank, TIRI Realty, and Banco Popular of Puerto Rico, to name just a few. I've also translated a few screenplays for producers here in Puerto Rico.

A couple of years ago, Jim Morrow asked me if I'd be willing to translate a couple of short stories by writers from Spain for an anthology of European SF he and his wife Kathy were putting together. I, of course, said yes, and I just found out that the results are now available online under the title The SFWA European Hall of Fame: Sixteen Contemporary Masterpieces of Science Fiction from the Continent edited by James Morrow and Kathryn Morrow.

The stories I worked on were The Day We Went Through the Transition by Ricard de la Casa and Pedro Jorge Romero and Between the Lines by José Antonio Cotrina.

JUNE
Push-ups = 840
Dips = 840
Curls = 840
Lifts = 840
Walking = 39 miles

YEAR-TO-DATE
Push-ups = 4,920
Dips = 4,470
Curls = 4,470
Lifts = 4,620
Walking = 152 miles

My college friend Bob Griffard was here from the 17th through the 26th to give a three-night series of conferences on how to write an effective sitcom pilot which I'd set up at a local university under the auspices of our local screenwriters association, as well as to spend some time with Tita and me.

His girlfriend Randee Heller flew in for the weekend (you may remember her as the actress who played the mother of the Karate Kid). Saturday, we visited the El Yunque National Rain Forest, lunched on seafood fritters by Luquillo Beach, and had dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant called Casa Italia. Sunday we spent in Old San Juan.

Bob and I took advantage of his visit to work on a screenplay we're writing together of a TV movie we hope to market to Lifetime or the Hallmark Channel. We're currently about halfway through developing the treatment.

Three jobs I have had in my life:
1. Creative Director of Foote Cone & Belding/Caribbean in San Juan, Puerto Rico (twice)
2. Radio Announcer at WILL-FM, Champaign, Illinois
3. Tech Assistant building stage sets for the Theatre Department of the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois

Three Places that I have lived:
1. Washington, D.C.
2. New Orleans, Louisiana
3. San Juan, Puerto Rico

Three TV shows I like to watch:
1. The Daily Show
2. American Idol
3. So You Think You Can Dance

Three places I have been on holiday:
1. Barcelona, Catalunya, Spain
2. Mont Tremblant , Quebec, Canada
3. St. John, US Virgin Islands

Three of my favourite foods:
1. Maine Lobster
2. Waikiki Duck
3. Chocolate Soufflee

Three places where I would rather be right now:
1. Paris, France
2. Raleigh, North Carolina
3. Barcelona, Spain


Now, it's your turn. Copy the questions, paste them into your blog, delete my answers, and type in your answers.

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and whom you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Who could ever have suspected
That you'd be the one
Who would draw me from this darkness
And then let me share her sun?
Now I see how I was blinded
How this poor boy should have known
That he needs to go and find you
And he can't come back alone

You are my voice, you're the song I sing
The fire that forges the most perfect golden ring
A summer morning that makes my heart take wing
You're my tomorrows
You're every hour I wake
My joys and sorrows
You're every breath I take

Who could ever have suspected
That you'd be the one
Who would draw me from this darkness
And then let me share her sun?
Now I see how I was blinded
How this poor boy should have known
That he needs to go and find you
And he can't come back alone

You are my dawn, you're my soft spring rain
The gentle whisper that can whisk away the pain
The soft caresses that can drive a man insane
You're love and laughter
You're my prayer and my creed
My sweet hereafter
You're all I'll ever need

Who could ever have suspected
That you'd be the one
Who would draw me from this darkness
And then let me share her sun?
Now I see how I was blinded
How this poor boy should have known
That he needs to go and find you
And he can't come back alone

===

Music and Lyrics by James Stevens
© James A. Stevens 2007

MAY
Push-ups = 900
Dips = 900
Curls = 900
Lifts = 900
Walking = 36.5 miles

YEAR-TO-DATE
Push-ups = 4,080
Dips = 3,630
Curls = 3,630
Lifts = 3,780
Walking = 113 miles

Started by Paul Cornell to honor deannahoak with the World Fantasy Award, Special Award - Professional.

If you're unfamiliar with Deanna, just check the page Paul's made for the campaign and read just one or two of the compliments he's gathered from award-winning and best-selling authors. Because if you can't trust your favorite author, who can you trust?

Spread the word.

IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you (or however many you can be bothered filling in!) I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!

Gacked from jmeadows

1. Your Middle Name: Arce (means "maple" in Spanish).

2. Age: 61.

3. Single or Taken: Married, with children.

4. Favourite Movie: Amelie.

5. Favourite Song or Album: Bridge Over Troubled Water.

6. Favourite Band/Artist: Juan Luis Guerra & 440.

7. Dirty or Clean: Clean.

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Ix-nay.

9. Do we know each other outside of LJ? Don't think so.

10. What's your philosophy on life? I'm for it.

11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? I like to think of it as a jug.

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? Not if I thought you had a right to know it.

13. What is your favourite memory of us? That time in Paris.

14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure? Chili's Molten Chocolate Cake.

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: I am listed on the Internet Movie Database for a small English-speaking part I played in a Spanish-language feature film.

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they? 1. That my wife and I will live together to a healthy, productive, ripe old age, then die together in our sleep. 2. That we will have enough money to live comfortably and without stress. 3. That I will sell everything I write.

17. Can we get together and make a cake? Sure, so long as it's Devil's or Angel food.

18. Which country is your spiritual home? Oz.

19. What is your big weakness? Too trusting.

20. Do you think I'm a good person? Sure.

21. What was your best/favourite subject at school? English.

22. Describe your accent: Midwestern American.

23. If you could change anything about me, would you? You mean besides the ferret fetish?

24. What do you wear to sleep? T-shirt and pajama bottoms.

25. Trousers or skirts? Jeans.

26. Cigarettes or alcohol? Alcohol.

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? Visit your family.

28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you? Could I do otherwise?

I've been tagged by sksperry and here are the rules:

> Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about him or herself.
> People who are tagged must to post these rules and write their eight things in their own blog.
> At the end of your blog, you need to tag eight people.
> Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and should read your blog.

1. I had piano lessons when I was 10 years old and clarinet lessons when I was 12, but taught myself to play the guitar when I was 16.

2. I have been married to my first and only wife for what will be 36 years on October 22 and we just keep falling ever more deeply in love.

3. Much to my surprise, I have yet to visit Europe, except for a week-long trip to Barcelona in 1997 to pick up the UPC Award for my novel Soulsaver.

4. My second surname -- Arce -- is my mother's maiden name, which is pronounced ARE-seh and is the Spanish word for "maple."

5. I like crabcakes.

6. My favorite books are Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry, Gemini by William Kelley, and The Wax Boom by George Mandel.

7. I played center for my high school basketball team and averaged 20 points per game, even though I was only 5'11" at the time and had a vertical leap of approximately 6 inches.

8. Two pop songs I composed have been recorded: Mas si regresas/But If You Should Return by 1993 Miss Universe Dayanara Torres (the first wife of Latin singing sensation Marc Anthony, who is currently wed to Jennifer Lopez) on an album titled Antifaz/Mask and No lloraré/I Will Not Cry by Ivonne Arana on an album titled Arana.

barbarienne
battle_of_one
ccfinlay
stevenagy
msisolak
ospreys_view
porphyrin
rachel_o

Gacked this meez-meme from matociquala.

Finished the 5th draft of the script yesterday. The 1st draft ran 87.5 pages; the current one is at 102. (Normal page range for feature-length scripts is between 90 and 120.)

Our current entertainment lawyer is withdrawing from the project for lack of time. Gave another entertainment lawyer friend of mine a copy of the new draft yesterday to see if she'd be interested in throwing in with us. (She liked the title when I mentioned it over the phone; now we have to see how she feels about the rest of it.)

Waiting to hear from our sales guy to see if he's had any success in landing sponsors or product integration participants. I suspect not, as I assume he would have let us know if he had, but a producer's got to follow up on stuff like this. Plus, we need to get a sense as to whether this aspect of our financing plan is going to prove viable or not.

APRIL
Push-ups = 900
Dips = 900
Curls = 900
Lifts = 900
Walking = 20 miles

The U.S. Postal Service plans to produce a Star Wars stamp pane and they want you to help choose which one of these will be selected to be produced on its own sheet.

Vote early and vote often!

GLASS WOMAN PRIZE
---
NO ENTRY FEE

Awarded for a piece of short fiction or creative nonfiction written by a woman.

Length: between 1 and 25 pages.

The prize for the second award is US $380 and online publication (the winner of the first award of US$500 has already been selected).

Deadline: September 21, 2007.

MARCH
Push-ups = 870
Dips = 870
Curls = 870
Lifts = 870
Walking = 36.5 miles